22 April 2006

Drunken Stanley Cup Prediction

For those of you who remained Todd Bertuzzi fans after his remarkable display of poor sportsmanship against Steve Moore a couple years ago let it be noted that Todd played like shit this year; his team played just like him and the Colorado Avalanche, Steve's old team, are in the play-offs.

The possibility of horrific violence during the course of most sports is why most of us grab a beer and watch. Us humans love our violence. Whether it is the chance a pitcher will lodge a baseball in some steroidal monster's face; a NASCAR driver be sent to find out there is no afterlife after hitting the wall; or even the small chance a soccer player will run headlong into a goal post and die on the spot - we hope, in our black hearts, for the worst to happen. Not many of us like to see the violence purposely initiated however. Imagine if Earnhart had been purposely and aggressively tagged into the wall. Shit would have rained down on the motherfucker who made that call.

The Dope City Canucks should trade Bertuzzi's act back to the Islanders.

From my vantage point, high on a mountain of empties, it is hard to imagine anything but a New Jersey/Detroit final come June. But hockey is a battle and if Detroit should have to try and slash their way through the Avalanche line-up I hope Todd Bertuzzi is watching on his tv as Joe Sakic shows the world what a real Canadian hockey player looks like.

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