5 March 2006

My Favourite TV Show

I do not watch a whole lot of tv any more. But I have watched my share.

My favourite record of all time is the Sex Pistols' "Nevermind the Bollocks". That's easy. Few have come close to matching it. Body Count's "Cop Killer", Lou Reed's "Street Hassle", DOA's "13 Flavours of Doom" and the Drive-By Truckers' "Southern Rock Opera" come close in their different ways. Picking a favourite tv show is trickier.

If it was the show I have watched most often I have a funny feeling Gilligan's Island would win the prize. I watched that dumb motherfucking show over and over when I was a kid.

Tonight I tuned into Hockey Night In Canada in time to watch Don Cherry's "Coach's Corner". I have seen Don Cherry's act so many times, his show with Ron McLean has to be considered a favourite. Tonight he said there was no difference between the motherfucking Finns and the motherfucking Swedes. He's a fucking beauty.

I have only seen one group of tv people in person before and I saw them twice in Dope City. The Kids In the Hall made me proud to be a Canadian. Same goes for the gang from CODCO except I never saw them in person. I was shown where Mary Walsh lives and walks her dog though.

These days I watch more horse racing on tv than anything with the exception of the news.

I do not think of the news as tv but that is the place to tune in to see shit explode. Squire Barnes has been reading the sports for me for quite a few years. I see the little motherfucker at the racetrack every now and then. Barnesy is my kind of guy.

It seemed impossible to pick a favourite tv show until I really thought hard about it. When I thought hard I thought of Anne Motherfucking Murray. That lady can put on a tv show! My dream is to one day see and hear Anne belt out John Cale's "Dirty Ass Rock 'n' Roll". I have not seen Anne since her and Bryan Adams sang a song to help raise money for the tsunami people over a year ago. Anne blew that little London boy off the stage.

If you are reading this Anne (like she would not be), it is time to phone your tv people to tell them you are ready to kick out the jams motherfuckers!


Anonymous said...

ANNE MURRAY!!!...Fuck Beer,you gotta put the crack pipe down.That Fuk'n shemale is the poorest excuse for a canadian, never mind an "ARTIST" .She's right up there with Celine Dion and Brian FUCKIN Mulroney.Travestys',ALL OF EM'.

Mr. Beer N. Hockey said...

I'm not saying Anne Murray is Canada's greatest artist. All I'm saying is her tv shows are the best tv ever recorded in history. Bringing back variety hours is one of the underlying themes here at 2+2, in case you have not noticed.

Celine does her best to be as good as Anne Murray and she likes older men so leave off her.

Mulroney could not lead our fab country any more than he could lead his wife out of a high end shoe store but that motherfucker could hit the high notes in "Danny Boy" like an opera star!

Anonymous said...

OK ,you got me there with the french broad.Brian hits the high notes because he too is transgendered.As for the best variety shows I'd have to go with Wayne and Shuster or maybe Tommy Hunter.It's a real shame they never gave Tommy Chong a shot at "PRIMETIME".The advertising alone would have been worth the price of admission...."Yes ,you too can have a 'Tommy Chong Bong' for only $19.95 . That's right ,only $19.95.We'll even send a sample of B.C.'s finest BUD for you to enjoy .And if you act right now we'll include a roach clip made by our indigenous peoples from the Wetcoast.So don't delay ,act now.Call 1-800-GET-HIGH!