13 February 2006

Slices of Toast

Sonja rented "The Aristocrats" for our weekend dose of entertainment. The clerk in the video store did her best to convince her not to rent it. She told Sonja, "After five minutes I turned it off." Sonja had no choice but to rent it however. It was a special request from her beer drinking vulgar husband.

The movie is not really dirty unless you consider incestuous shit sex to be off colour. I read "Naked Lunch" many years ago and was de-sensitized for life to vulgar tales.

Last night my mom and her husband invited Sonja and I over to her swank Fort Royal apartment overlooking the crack shacks of Sliverville. It was my sister Kitty's birthday. Kitty brought along her half Ukrainian - half Jamaican husband we know as Hunky Z. The Z man had a joke to tell I will do my best to re-tell here.

"Three Newfie brothers from the same outport decide to get married at the same time and spend their honeymoons together with their new brides at the Royal Newfoundland Hotel in St. John's. Since they know they will be having breakfast with their new wives together and not have the privacy to tell one another how many times they got fucked the previous night they decide on a code they can easily work into the breakfast conversation. They decide they will tell one another how many times they did it by the number of slices of toast they order.

Next morning the first brother orders two pieces of toast. The two other brothers nod to one another knowingly. The second brother orders three pieces of toast. The two other brothers suspect him of embellishing his honeymoon exploits. The third brother says to the waitress when she takes his order, "I'll have three slices of toast too my dear. Two white and one brown."

That Hunky Z is one funny motherfucker.

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