I Live Surrounded by 35 Million Communists

For some time now I have believed I live in the most communist country on Earth. Canada's early recognition of the nation of China after their revolution was no mistake - we are just like them. And these days we are more communist than China.

I'm not saying living in what may be the most communist country is an entirely bad thing. For one thing you do not have to get off the couch and go vote every few years or so because you know before hand who is going to win. Oh sure the opposition parties try and make everybody think they have a chance of winning. But we all know the small victories the non-communist parties of Canada win do not add up to anything besides providing the illusion we live in real live democracy.

Communism is so successful here even the capitalists are on side. And why not? They are one of the biggest beneficiaries of our Marxist way of life. Vancouver's Canada Line train project has all the hallmarks of a communist project that will line the pockets of the already rich with yet more money. We could have built twice as much rail if the purpose of the project being built was to move people instead of make the maximum money possible over the longest period of time for our communist business community.

There are few people of influence who do not accept Canadian communism. There are lots of people who say they oppose it. But they do not. The Conservative Party would only moderate our communism to become an evangelical communism. The NDP offer what they figure is a more enlightened version of evangelical communism. The Bloc in Quebec are every bit as communist as the Liberals. Their communism is hyphenated with separatism. There are even more people who oppose it on single issue grounds. Such grounds include opposition to the gun control programme, gay marriage, universal health care and group sex. Canadian society as a whole figures these oppositionists watch too much American entertainment. That's right! Half of the opposition to our communist way of life is led by people who believe in restricting our sexual behaviour - sounds like old time Russian communists to me.

Only parties with remarkably similar political philosophies would allow for leading oppositionists from supposedly opposite ends of the political spectrum like Ujjal Dosanjh and Belinda Stronach to switch to the leading brand so easily.

So wear your best red sweater, sit back, crack another cold one, watch the hockey game and get ready for another five year plan to be unveiled in the spring.