Dope City Free Press

NEVER GIVE A MOTHERFUCKER AN EVEN BREAK

23 November 2018

If Wishes Wore Roller Skates

If I
Were a
Girl there
Is no

Girl
I
Would
Rather

Be
Than
Melanie
Safka.

Sigh.

Posted by Mr. Beer N. Hockey at 11:58 am

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About Beer

Mr. Beer N. Hockey: Guiding (Bertuzzi) principle - The most desirable condition of the human species is to get together at the hockey rink and have a few beers. The injustice and violence of men in a hockey rink having a few beers produced the demand for ushers. Ushers, as they were forced upon men having a few beers at the rink became common place, a creature of the paying hockey fan's ignorance and mistake. Ushers were intended to suppress injustice, but they offered new occasions and temptations for the commission of it. By concentrating the force of the community, it gives occasion to wild projects of calamity, to oppression, despotism, war and conquest - sometimes beer sales are even cut off during the third period. By perpetuating and aggravating the inability to get drunk in public ushers foster men's injurious passions, and excites men to the practice of butt ending and high sticking, breaking necks and in some areas to throw dead seafood onto the ice. Ushers were intended to suppress injustice, but their effect has been to embody and perpetuate it.

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