24 January 2016

On Learning To Use Heavy Duty Highway Construction Equipment When You Are Eleven Years Old

"We did not give a shit about anything but getting away with what we did."

The voice of one of my fellow dog owners. Sympathetic chap he is. Going to be every bit as sorry to see the Hammer put her head down and run to the other side as Sonja and I.

"One summer, I guess I was 11, maybe 12, they started putting the highway through. Right through the forest my friends and I thought of as our own. Took a lot of heavy equipment to punch that road through the forest and up the hill. Equipment the crew left sitting idly when they went home on the weekends.

"Naturally we were curious about the big yellow machines. Curious enough to figure out how they all worked. It was great fun. We would have races, push shit around and on numerous occasions fucking near kill ourselves due to our misunderstanding of both the machines' controls, physical limits and the unforgiving nature of gravity.

"It was more fun playing around on all that equipment than going to Disneyland.

"One weekend as we were making our way to the machines we spotted the Queen's Cowboys talking to some boys a little older than us by the machines. Seems the older boys had been caught doing what we had been doing undetected all summer long.

"The Mounties, spotting us, beckoned us over."

"You boys haven't been up on these machines too have you?" one of the Mounties asked us.

"Gosh no. We are just out picking huckleberries."

"We only took out the machines once more after that. The Mounties appeared to be pissed off pretty bad at the older boys taking the blame for our fun and we wanted no part of that or the violent shit that would go down once the Mounties had explained what shitheads we were to our parents and left us for dead. Drove all the machines as far up that fucking mountain as we could. Lined them up and watched them tumble to their death. Figured that would teach the Mounties and the company that called them in to kill our buzz."

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