28 April 2013
As I exited my local London Drugs, after I had checked in to see if they had on display some new records I might buy, I saw what looked like a couple local Liberal party heavyweights having coffee in Starbucks. I spend fucking little (cannot resist their soy hot chocolate on the rare occasions snow falls around here) of my hard earned money in Starbucks but I bought a cup this time so I could sit close enough to them to listen in on their conversation.
"I hope the assholes who voted for her to be our fucking leader are happy now," said the heavier of the two men.
The other man nodded gravely. "Every time she opens her fucking mouth we lose another point in the polls. She could promise to legalize dope, halve the price of beer and add breast enlargement to the medical plan and we wouldn't win this election."
"We're lucky we have a star candidate who would not step in shit if he was on top of Shit Mountain. If he had an ounce of warmth in him we might not be sitting here now within a point of the motherfucking NDP and that turncoat cocksucker Van Dongen."
"Usually when we warn everybody the world is going to end if they vote in the NDP the people suck that shit up. Now the end of the world looks good to them in comparison to Christy for fuck's sake."
That was enough for me. I left the overpriced coffee church thinking the two miserable Liberal motherfuckers did not need coffee. They needed beer - lots of it - and so did I. I threw my half drank hot chocolate in the garbage can outside the mall and went for a few quick beers before heading over to my independent candidate's office. Seemed to me everybody on his campaign was drinking at least a little and the beer has been helping me fit in with his mostly fucking Catholic supporters.
They were happy when I told them what I had heard. "Let's pray they are crying even harder on election night!"