11 July 2012

Frog Juice

I do not go out of my way to further publicize the seedier aspects of horse racing. Horse racing, in my opinion, is less seedy, much less seedy, than many other competitive endeavors. Soccer, football if you prefer, is the fucking worst, should you not consider Capitalism a sport. If you bet on soccer, or corporations, without the aid of inside dope you are looking for trouble in a bear cage. Crooked as an Irish cop, the whole fucking lot of them.

That said, this would not be the Dope City Free Press if I did not pass on news of the recent alleged incidence of doping horses, here and there, with dermorphin. Dermorphin, depending on which figures you trust, is ten to forty times more potent as morphine. That would put it on roughly the same footing as heroin, an agent that has the opposite effect on horses as humans when it is race time.

Dermorphin, get this, is produced by a motherfucking frog from South America, but may also be synthesised. I was thinking a little of that frog shit might be just the thing for me at the end of my sawmill work week. Couple shakes of the green juice in my beer and I would be as far from the sawmill as St. Patrick in his shaded grave. Until I read up on it. Turns out there was a moral hidden somewhere inside my dad religiously teaching me to hate the Canadiens just as soon as I could pronounce the word hockey.

Just say no to the frog juice, motherfuckers. 

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