13 January 2012

Newfie Joke of the Day

Every day since I have had a computer my dad sends me Newfie jokes, usually several each day. "You don't know what you're missing b'y," he seems to be saying, "living over there with everybody else that have convinced themselves they must be in Heaven because the Chinese and everybody else with a pile of crooked money wants to move there and pretend they are movie stars in Hong Fucking Kong."

Here is the joke that came in today.

A pharmacist in Dildo walks into his store to find a guy leaning so heavily against a wall you would have thought he was holding back the river of crap that keeps pouring out of Ottawa since Harper took over.

So he asks his clerk, a young b'y just graduated from Memorial University, "What's with the guy over there by the wall?"

The clerk, one of those wise ones unversities are pumping out nowadays who are proud they can think outside the box, tells his boss, "He came in this morning to get something for his cough and I couldn't find the cough syrup so I gave him an entire bottle of laxative instead."

The pharmacist blew his top when he heard that. "You idiot! You can't treat a cough with a bottle of laxative."

The clerk was having none of that old school guff from his boss. Told him, "Of course you can! Look at him. He's afraid to cough!"


Anonymous said...

Sure wish I was on your list of Motherfu ... what you said.

I'm up to 2,020 posts gathered from the past 5 years of blogging the details which may lead us to the arrest and charging of the Motherfu ... what you said ... who double-crossed British Columbia and sold our railway. No little trolley, either, but BC Rail was the 3rd largest railway in Canada, beloved lifeline of B.C.

The troubles began when Gordon Campbell got himself elected premier by promising he would NEVER sell BC Rail ... but little did we know that the evil deed was already in the works. We found out when police raided the B.C. Legislature one Sunday morning during Christmas holidays, Dec. 28, 2003. Never had happened before in the British Commonwealth.

I'm BC Mary at The Legislature Raids

Btw, my favourite Newfie Joke won the best joke of the year award during Peter Gzowski's time. It involved a Newfie cncentrated upon watching a guy jumping up and down on a manhole cover. The Newfie was countng "39, 40, 41, 42, 43, 44, 45, 46 ... " and with a deft movement the Newfie pulled the Manhole cover aside and the jumper dropped out of sight ... and the Newfie shouted triumphantly "47!".

Why? Well, that's the part I don't recall. Maybe you remember the punch-line. We used it in our family for years whenever we didn't understand something ... we just wait (figuratively speaking) for somebody to yell "Forty-Seven!", cover the manhole again, and continued jumping. You can easily see why I need to be on your blogger-list.


Mr. Beer N. Hockey said...

I miss the proper northern passenger service BC Rail once boasted. It was a great place to drink. Miss it more when somebody from out of town is around and could use a long slow look at rock 'n' roll province.

Yes Ms. Mary I better add you to the bar. What'll you have?