18 May 2011

Hockey's Talking Heads

I have watched more hockey this year than ever before. I have watched so much hockey I have even learned something, even though I have known it all along: the colour commentators are all shit. Who hires the motherfuckers?

Not even a hint of Howard Cosell between the lot of them. Even Don Cherry has gotten boring. Has the man forgotten how to piss off the French? It is not that hard. It is the same with the other sports' colour men too.


Somebody ought to feed them some beers before they go on air. Put a little hash in their pre-game meal. Put a firecracker up their ass.


mollymew said...

Actually Cherry has been boring ever since his ventriloquist 'Blue' passed on to doggy heaven.

Nazz Nomad said...

Here in the States, we get Barry fucking Melrose as our "expert. The hairstyle and facial hair of a lobotomized heavy metal washout, the sartorial grace of a blind hobo, and the hockey sense of William Burrough's talking asshole. Fucker couldn't coach and he sure can't speak. My only explanation is he is sodomizing the president of espn and threatened to expose him if he was fired.

years ago, on Rangers telecasts we had Bill Chadwick. Bill Chadwicks most alzeimer ridden utterance carried more credibility than Melrose.

Mr. Beer N. Hockey said...

I have seen Melrose's act too. Pablo Fucking Picasso could not have painted a better picture. Hockey commentators are a mirror of our world, which is not getting better, it is getting worse.

Mr. Beer N. Hockey said...

I am sure Cherry never expected his act to outlive his dog. An eventuality I will have to try and overcome one day myself.