Playing Field Dangers

People do not phone me at home to chat that much. It is one of the many advantages of being a man. We stay out of each other's caves, keeping in touch just enough to know where the good hunting is. Last night I took one of those calls.

Eventually my caller started talking about his kids. I like stories about people's kids. One of his kids, a girl named Alex, played some ball in the deep south of America this past summer.

"She was trying to get set in the batter's box when the umpire started giving her a hard time about her being a Canadian. 'I hear you have to chase the polar bears off the diamond before you can play up there,' he said to her. Alex stepped out, spit, and talked back to the fat fuck.

"'That's funny,' she told him, 'I heard up in Canada that you have to chase the motherfucking Bible-thumpers off the field before you can play down here.'"