30 November 2010
Grey Cup Shark Dive
It was looking like the Grey Cup party was going to be boring. Just the usual guys, drinking their usual beer, usual knockout dope, white powder if you have a medical condition that requires you to be numb at all times. Then someone just back from a holiday in Mexico produced a couple bottles of red absinthe he had bought there.
I do not know what is in red absinthe. All the writing on the bottle was in Spanish and some foreign Communist language. Kind of hard to tell you what it tasted like. Something close
to a baboon's ass. Once everybody had a couple shots of that shit we were all acting like Roughrider's fans. Like prairie dogs on bad acid.
Ian, the man who brought back the sick red medicine from Mexico told us about his recent holiday diving experiences during halftime. "I went diving with bull sharks. One thousand pounds of motherfucking killer. Me and my diving group, led by our dive leader Pol Pot Pie, dropped eighty feet to the ocean floor and waited to be swarmed by them. And swarm us they did. So close they would have sucked the snot of our nose if not for our masks."
I do not dive with sharks. When I need danger I get in my car and drive around Dope City.