Got a message from the city in the mail today. The motherfuckers are going to start metering my water consumption. The fucking government eats away at our privacy and Freedom inch by inch. Government is like a real slow flesh eating disease. We do not mind missing a toe or two, it seems, but pretty soon we will have no legs to stand on.
The problem the city is trying to address with water metering is that we have encouraged and seen so much population growth, growth that is fast swamping our infrastructure. In time we will have to run a pipe to a faraway lake as we exhaust our current supply. A pipe that will cost over a billion dollars to set up. Put a meter on that, motherfuckers.
In time mere water consumption metering will not be enough. Meters will be attached to every toilet in the land. We will be encouraged, by way of financial disincentives, to flush the household loo no more than three times a day. The shit will pile up and the government will be happy. We will be further encouraged to bathe less often. "Be like the Europeans!" we will be cheerleaded. "Being smelly is patriotic." Only hockey players will be issued permits for extra shower time.
I used to get cool shit in the mail. Now all I get is bills from corporations I cannot avoid and crap from the government. It is not right.
2 comments:
You've been in Canada too long pal. Paying for clean water? Imagine that. Here in the land of the free we are expected to pay for metered dirty, bacteria laden tap water plus buy bottled water for drinking purposes. We buy the bottled water from large corporations who have made it their business to destroy the public infrastructure- the public drinking water supply for example- for their private gain. Soon we'll be free to enjoy cholera again, just like in the good old days. Oh, you might wonder where the bottled water comes from. It comes from the public drinking water we are supposed to avoid, but it's distributed by Coca Cola, not the dadgum gummint, so it's OK. Mmmm, tastes like freedom.
Seems like Canada is taking its cue from England's streaming.
Of course, in Scotland we have thus far escaped Water metering. Understandably, since we experience so much rain that many are born with webbed toes. The rest of us have trench foot.
Nobody escapes the community water charge, though. I had to pay a plumber on the fly to connect my water to the rising main. Now we can drink what comes up from beneath the street. Instead of what is siphoned from crumbling storage tanks topped up with rotting pigeons and the ocasional rodent.
And I am not imagining things when I swear that what comes out the tap used to taste better when it was filtered through those old, toxic lead pipes. A different rising main.
One thing, though.
Lawn sprinklers.
Lawn sprinklers and three car families. And worse. The indecently flash with indoor swimming pools.
Those fuckers deserve to have their water supply metered.
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