7 November 2009

What Makes a Good Monarch?

"How come you no go Victoria see Prince Charles?" asked Ma. "In China if Prince come near where anybody live they go see him every time. You don't like Prince Charles or something?"

Ma knows damn well I think Canada's next King is a boob. Everybody does. I cannot think of a bigger boob offhand. I picked up my coffee and let Ma continue. When you are having a conversation with a woman there is little risk in being economical with your words.

"Prince Charles look strange, eh Beer? Like maybe he is not all human. How come so many white people so funny looking?"

"You have a point there Ma," I agreed. "You should visit England. It is like a funny looking people museum. I guess that's what we mean when we say Chinese people all look alike. You just are not funny looking enough for us. The odd thing is that us strange looking white people have been at the top of the totem pole for a long, long time. Being funny looking enough to suggest multiple inbreedings is just what we look for in a monarch. Just so long as we do not have to get too close to the motherfucker."

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