Ten Inches

I do not have very many ten inch records. I could have bought more of the ten inch oddities over the years but I only bought the ones that really appealed to me.

The first one I bought in 1978. That is one fuck of a long time ago. It was recorded by Wreckless Eric. There are eight songs on the brown vinyl. The last song is called "There Isn't Anything Else." Love that song. Larry Wallis plays guitar on it.

In 1980 I bought two ten inchers. I may have bought them both the same day. The first is by Shakin' Stevens. After Elvis died Stevens, like many men since, tried to get rich by rocking like the King. I do not think he ever did get rich trying to fill Elvis' boots but I am pretty sure he got his dick sucked a lot for trying.

The second 1980 ten incher in my collection is the Motorhead/Girlschool collaboration known as the St. Valentine's Day Massacre. Ten inches of true grit it is. I never saw Shakin' Stevens or Wreckless Eric (ok, I may have seen Wreckless Eric, my memory is more broken down than my computer) but I sure as Hell saw Motorhead and Girlschool.

In 1991 I bought Moe Tucker's "Too Shy" ten inches of goodness. Moe was the Ringo of the Velvet Underground.

I did not buy another ten incher until DOA released "Marijuana Motherfucker" in 1992. It is green as your average Dope City taxpayer's basement garden. I doubt there is anyone who reads this space who does not own a copy of this song. Christians have the Lord's Prayer; I have prayers with the word Motherfucker in the title.

The next year I picked up a copy of Iggy Pop's "Beside You." #4034. I saw Iggy and his band that same year. My head hurts just thinking about it. I sure hope Iggy gets a Graceland when he dies. If the dope dealers of the world decided such things he would get two Gracelands.

Have not bought a ten incher since.