This Saturday night I will be at the MSA Arena watching the Steepleton Roller Girls giving the old flying lip lock to the cement floor. For the first time I will not have to drive into Dope City to see what women really want to do to one another - slam their candy floss asses into the cold, hard cement on a sweaty Saturday night.
MSA Arena, for those of you unacquainted with my backwoods buttfuck of a town, was built in the '70s. The letters stand for Marijuana, Speed and Acid. Those three products still make up 70% of the local economy 40 years later.
If you are looking for me I will be sitting in the same chair I watch the Cross Checkers Junior 'B' hockey games from - the same chair Goldie Hawn sat in when she came to town to see her son Wyatt tend goal in an all-star game several years ago.