10 July 2009

Computers Are Shit

Sonja bought me my first and only lap top computer a year and a half ago. Just in time too. The house computer was croaking at the very same time I unwrapped the portable number and I had not used it since I got the lap top sorted out.

Couple days ago the lap top croaked for no good reason. I put it in the fix it shop where some shifty motherfucker will bleed me dry before I ever see it again. Only trouble was that I have this writing habit that needs regular feeding so I went back to the house computer to see what would happen if I turned it back on.

It was still fucked. Fucked as the Dope City Canucks. But I persevered with it, managed to get in a bit of writing before it would croak again and performed what little computer first aid I am capable of on the fucked beast of a thing. Now the house computer is working problem free. Do not ask me why.

Now that I have been sitting here for a few days I am reminded how much more comfortable it is to write at a desk in my big ripped up office chair. There is lots of room for beer and empty beers around the monitor and I cannot hear Sonja when she asks me to do the things I really should be doing instead of writing and drinking beer.

The Hammer comes and checks on me once every hour or so. I pet her and sometimes she lies under the desk by my smelly feet.

I think the lap top is going to be getting a lot less use until the house computer inevitably shudders to a halt once again.


mollymew said...

I know the feeling Beer. I know it well. I was actually programming computers,such as they were, back in the early 70s. To this day I can usually solve my own computer problems myself. I call in "computer guy" about once every two years. I also take the time to write down the sequence of correction(important!!!) so that I can do it again on time #s 2 to 50.
My present system consists of two towers (with three hard discs) hooked together with a gigantic black box sitting on the windowsill with a serious octopus of connection wires hooked up. My major problem is when switching between disc 1 on the old computer and the new computer that I use for the internet. Important stuff like business files and my favourite computer game are on disc 1 on the old computer, isolated from the internet. When I had to install a new keyboard after one too many spills on the old one I ended up having to pull wires and replug them into the other tower when switching. I look at the old connections and I have no desire to try and rewire them myself. It's much simpler to pull and plug. The octopus was the creation of the "computer guy", so that I could operate both towers at once. It was all great until I had to add new hardware.
A few things that I have observed:
1)upgrading is all too frequently not to your advantage. My financial files and my favourite game both date to the early 1990s. I can't put either one onto the latest OS that I have. Hence the need for the old tower.
2)Hard discs hardly ever screw up beyond recovery. You can be assured that most computer repair people in shops where they want to sell you new stuff will try and pimp for a new computer much harder than an independent computer repair guy will.
3)New is not necessarily better. I am using data bases that are older than most people on Earth, and yet they serve me well. I cannot think of any new data base that would offer anything but confusion.
4)Like most electronic devices...if it isn't working right first try punching it, softly of course.
Yes, I'm almost ready for tower # 3, and I'll be sure at that point to call in "computer guy" to do all the jerry rigging.
Speaking of things like that you might want to consider somebody who will do the repairs on site rather than dumping the old machine at the shop. If they can't do it in your home they they will inform you of such, and obviously nobody can hook together a complicated system "in the shop".

Mr. Beer N. Hockey said...

I don't know anybody who knows shit about computers so it is good to hear some sage Saskatchewinian advice. As it happens I do have a spare tower, all cleaned up from its previous life of drudgery in an office. I was thinking of tossing the old tower eventually but the idea of hooking the two towers together is appealing. You should see my stereo. I just keep adding things to it and never throwing things out. A man can never have enough electronic crap wired together. Wish I still had my old homemade garbage can speakers to listen to my old punk rock records with.

If the shop I brought the lap top to tries to sell me a new one rather than fix the old one you shall be reading about the ensuing in-store dust up here.

I have not had a computer whiz to the house for since the house computer was first hooked up. Hope he does not mind being paid with beer and weed.