4 June 2009

Archie's Mistake

Archie, the red-headed comic book motherfucker, got himself into the news cycle briefly by asking Veronica, the brunette comic book rich bitch, to marry him. Not sure why this is newsworthy - who really gives a fuck?

A lot of people hate Archie comics; the people who are overly familiar with the devolution of comic book content. You have to watch out for people who are overly familiar with comic book lore. Comic book mullahs they are. Capable of anything but usually too stoned to cause much trouble.

Archie helped me learn to read. Just like Batman and the rest of the leotard wearing superhero comic book army did. I dropped the comics in favour of real books once my reading skills allowed me to. People who read comics beyond the age of about ten ought to be placed on to some sort of registry so we can keep track of their movements. Trouble they are. Leotard crazy.

I would have gone for Betty. Rich bitches are ok for fucking but you do not want to marry one.


Stephanie said...

Amen! (coming from a person who has spent the last 14 years with a man who has a custom-made Spiderman costume)

mollymew said...

In the name of Howard the Duck, the Compassionate, the Merciful...
Let it be known to all the umma, the faithful of Stanleeistan, that we, the scholars and interpretors of the Holy Word of the prophet Jackkirbyahmed, Peace Be Upon Him, have issued a fatwa concerning the kaffir "Mr Beer N'Hockey".
All the faithful are enjoined to strive to the utmost in the spirit of the Holy Warrior Parkerahmed to seal this unbeliever in an everlasting polyethylene bag so that his perfidy may be preserved as an ever lasting mint condition spectacle of the fate of unbelievers.
Should any Holy Warrior fall in this cause the Peace of Howard will be upon him and 70 first editions will be his in paradise.
The Mullahs of Duckville.

ib said...

I was quite fond of those Archie comics. And the spin-off Archies' smash "Sugar, Sugar" too.

Nice 45.

Anonymous said...

I totally thought he'd go for Betty, then divorce her after a couple of kids, buy a corvette, get hair plugs, and then marry Veronica. Veronica's totally a trophy wife...