4 February 2009


I was the only punk rocker at the first martial arts school I attended. There were less violent, half-deaf drug fiends around in those days I guess.

One night the instructor, a former Chinese commando, asked the class, "What you do in the future your life?"

The class answered one by one. He had never asked us any philosophical shit like that before. I had time to think it over as everyone told everyone else what they were aiming for. The women wanted to fuck and have babies; the cops were hoping somebody would invent an electric gun they could electrocute people with; everybody laughed when somebody said he wanted to open a computer store; no one mentioned invading Afghanistan.

My answer? "In the future I want to drink beer and have fun, shi zu."

"Nothing else?" he asked.

"A little pussy every now and then would be good, shi zu."

"Who next?" he asked.


Laila said...

I always wondered why they call it pussy. It looks nothing like a cat.

Mr. Beer N. Hockey said...

After much research the best answer I can come up with is that the vagina is perfect.

Laila said...

So profound.... ;)

Mr. Beer N. Hockey said...

The Dope City Free Press takes great pride in its reputation as the Profundity Corner of the internet.

mollymew said...

Are you sure you didn't say "Shih Tzu" rather than "Shih Zu". Just curious. Could he have told the difference, and how mean was he ?

Mr. Beer N. Hockey said...

Luckily my shi zu had assistants who spoke much better English than he did. Shi zu is meant to mean grandmaster. I used the spelling agreed upon by the U.N. for the romanization of Chinese in 1995.

Grandmaster was fatherly in a retired military guy way. Not the sort of guy you would have ever wanted to bump into in the jungle.