14 November 2008

Violence, Ratsiness, Sleaziness and Dope

"My assignment is to cover the riot." - Hunter S. Thompson, The Kentucky Derby is Decadent and Depraved

Got my oil changed today. I used to do that sort of thing myself but I am turning into a lazy old fuck. The oil boy gave me a newspaper to read while I waited. There was a story inside the newspaper in which the old downtown part of Animal Sacrifice Steepleton is depicted as being violent, ratsy, sleazy and crack-ridden.

The description is spot on. Everywhere I have lived has been Eden-like until after I moved in. They do not send the Welcome Wagon when I move into a new town, they send a surveillance team. Violence, ratsiness, sleaze and altered states follow me around like Anne Murray's old Saskatchawinian stalker before the Government of Canada took him into their prison system.

I have a funny feeling the description is also going to fit Dope City's 2010 Olympics. It is going to be something else. The 2010 Winter Games are going to be wilder than Hunter Thompson's Kentucky Derby. It is hard to believe people are planning to disrupt the Spectacle with demonstrations. Fuck that shit. In 15 months we are going to put the hammer down. The head of the Olympic Organizing Squad is even encouraging everybody to down tools for two weeks and join in the fun! The translation of that is, "Let's get drunk and whoop it up motherfuckers!"

I have a little hard-won advice I would like to pass on to those thinking up ways to prick the Olympic paw: Have fun. Treat the event like Hunter treated the Kentucky Derby. A two week long Kentucky Derby.


SLM said...

ratsiness A+++++ would use this word again!!!!!

Gazetteer said...


After all, it's not like D.C. is NOT decadent and depraved.

And maybe we could shoot the ashes every night after that day's medal ceremony in the rain.


Mr. Beer N. Hockey said...

The decadence and depravity have just begun...

Not sure just where in my beer brain the word ratsiness came from. Sounds like a word the Fonz would have used and used well.