All My Heroes

One of the criteria I used when selecting a record to buy when I was a teenager was stonedness. All my heroes, the guys in the motorcycle clubs and in the rock magazines (and Janis Joplin and maybe even Anne Murray), were all riding the dope coaster. Deep Purple soon led to T Rex then to Black Sabbath; Sabbath led to Lou Reed, which led in turn somehow to Hawkwind. Only Hawkwind were more stoned than Reed. Hawkwind were the Stonedest. Hawkwind were what I was looking for.

That first record was "Hall of the Mountain Grill." I had not even heard of Lemmy's dope legend. Lemmy was the stonedest of the Stonedest. When Lemmy was in Hawkwind they were too fucking heavy.

But not too fucking heavy for me.

Soon I wanted even heavier rock. Soon I was a heavy metal fiend. Bang! and Rush got a lot of play on the basement stereo. Then heavy metal was not heavy enough. That was when I heard the Ramones and the Sex Pistols and back tracked to the Stooges, the NYDolls, the Velvets and Jonathan Richman.

Could it get any heavier than those old/or dead fuckers? Depends what you think of Canada's Subhumans, DOA and Hanson Brothers; America's Dead Kennedys and Avengers; England's Cockney Rejects.

I figure I reached the peak of the Stoned Mountain of heavy rock when I bought the Applicators' "Lick My Sweaty Balls" 45. The Applicators recorded for Timber Yard Records in Australia. There's some heavy rock from down there that sounds good every time they play it at the hockey game.

- dedicated to the memory of Bon Scott