The mailman dropped the neighbour's mail at my place today. I am not sure if my mailman was drunk or if he was playing a little mischief. It was a lot of mail; my neighbour gets a lot more mail than I get. After I looked at everything I bundled it up and brought it across the street.
Before I knocked on the door I looked across the street at my house. My house, I must admit, looks like a crackhouse. I have lived in so many shit poor neighbourhoods over the years I cannot help but make my place look like the last place on earth you would like to interfere with unless you want to be interfered with so bad you will not be able to walk for two weeks.
I knocked on the door and waited. No one came to the door so I knocked again. Finally the neighbour's wife, the neighbour's wife with the great fucking ass, opened the door. "Hi Beer," she coo'd. She was dressed and everything but I could tell she was not wearing her bra. A man can always tell.
"The mailman fucked up and gave me your mail," I told her and handed it to her with the top shelf porn magazine on the top of the pile. She looked at me as she took it in her hand. I do not know what the fuck she was thinking and I am a curious motherfucker so I asked, "Any pictures of you in there?"
"If there are they would have been taken by you watching me out your dirty window bending into the trunk of my car getting the groceries out."