29 September 2008

What Do I Care?


I ought to know better. What do I care about American politics? I guess I am just like most Canadians - we watch America the same way you watch the neighbourhood house that has cop cars out front of it the most.
If you believe the polls, and you should not because people like me will not say shit to the pollsters, fucking near 4 out of 5 Canadians will drink a case of beer if Obama, the Bionic Politician, wins. I may have a few myself even though Obama reminds me a great deal of Glen Clark. Clark was just as young, fast and scientific when he became Premier of my Dope Province as Obama will be if he gets the sage collective American nod in November. No matter how accomplished a politician might be, or appear to be, they never have any trouble initiating their share of man made disasters.

My failure to participate in polls is a fact that should make the pollsters even more confident of their results because when I used to talk to the pollsters I fed them nothing but lies. "Oh fuck yes," I used to tell them, "I'm voting for that motherfucker Mulroney! He's sexy!" Too bad for the pollsters: there are more and more people like me out there every day.

As for the Canadian election? I like the way the Liberals are looking doomed. Canadians talk a good game on environmental issues but we vote, "Fuck off you green bastards," every time.

I like the decision by the NDP to have Layton position himself and the party, from the very beginning of the campaign, as running to win. It looked like an awkward idea to begin with but it looks like it is paying off as only well risked decisions can pay off. The NDP knew exactly how soft Liberal support was before the campaign began.

Harper may get his chance to do whatever the fuck he wants. If so, the very Moral Majority that represents everything I fear our society might one day once again become will have accomplished its first goal in Canada - elected themself a Redneck King.

1 comment:

Jon said...

I took one of those internet quizzes, "How Canadian Are You?' It was a test designed for Americans and I scored "You Are A Tim Horton's Addict." That was because I know the name of the President of Canada, Pierre Harper, and I know that the capital of Canada is not Toronto but Ottawa, in Manitoba. This puts me ahead of 99% of Americans. Probably some percentage of Canadians too. I also know the names of a couple of Canadian political parties. I think they're called The Liberal Democrats and The Liberal Conservatives. Sounds right anyhow.

Meanwhile, everyone in Canada knows who my Senator and Congressman are. Most of my neighbors don't know who our Senator and Congressmen are. Every once in a while, some right wing talk radio host will start up about the homosexual communist nutbags who elected Lynn Woolsey and someone will say, "I'm glad I don't live with those queer Marxists who would elect someone like that terrible Lynn Woolsey." I will have to explain to them that we live in Lynn Woolsey's district. They are surprised. I think that Lynn Woolsey was elected by Canadians. I like her. If asked to participate in a Canadian election, I would probably vote against that Ben Harper guy.