2 August 2008

Hot as a Lawn Chair

Besides the hot as a lawn chair fueled campfire roller derby girl festival on August 23rd there is something even hotter for us all to look forward to later this month and I am not talking about the arrival of Mats Sundin's wife in Dope City.

Anne Murray, Canada's very own hunkahunkahunkaburninglove Elvis, is scheduled to appear on Canadian Idol. The folks at Canadian Idol, most likely that motherfucker Mulroney, are being coy about just when she will appear. So you might want to think about watching the first couple minutes of some of the worst Canadian television programming ever produced just to see if Anne is going to be on.

Steepleton and nearby Cedar City have produced a few top ten Canadian Idol contestants. Now we cannot shake the talentless schmucks. Every time there is an excuse for someone to get up and sing like their drunk grandmother has requested a few songs at a family drink 'til you drop there they are torturing the town from the stage.

Nevermind. Anne is going to be on my television. I better go out and buy some good beer...maybe some bottles with colourful foil wrapped around the bottle necks.


ib said...

Pop Idol (UK "original"); American Idol ; Canadian Idol.

Don't you just love it ?

Have you ever looked into the pedigree of the judges on those panels ? Aside from a couple of illegitimately sired bastard boy bands and the odd celebrity spouse, their CVs as music industry moguls is severely limited. Simon Cowell got his big TV break dressed up in a rabbit suit on childrens' tv - rather like the myxomatosis infected character in Donnie Darko.

As for the auditioning contestants. They should be fucking burned alive at the stake.

Mr. Beer N. Hockey said...

All that burning of contestants would be bad for the environment. How about we behead each contestant voted off Idol Island and just burn the winner at the stake?

ib said...

Nah, beheading is too quick and clean. However, if we might source a trained executioner in the final throes of Parkinson's disease...