30 July 2008

I Do

If I did not drink so much my family would think it down right irregular for me to be writing. Sister Sal phoned me up last Friday night and asked, "What you doing?"

I told her, "Writing."

"Shouldn't you be down the pub or shagging the Mrs.?"

"I'm drinking beer and absinthe while I'm writing. The absinthe may get in the way of giving the old lady a little ostrich neck later."

"Oh, you're drinking and writing. I guess that's ok."

A lot of people have this idea that writers do not drink when they are writing. That is just because they do not write when they drink. I do. I drink a lot and then I write.

All my favourite writers did the same thing. Drink, do drugs and write. Just like the motherfuckers who wrote the Bible.

I heard today on the radio that the people of my province knocked down a little over $1,000,000,000 worth of booze last year. That does not include the wine, beer and spirits people cook up at home. I reckon we consumed one fuck of a lot more than a billion dollars worth of illicit drugs.

No wonder so many people want to live here.


ib said...

It's odd that people have tis assumption that imbibing alcohol or narcotics interferes with not only the creative process but with the mechanics of putting it into practice.

Clearly they have not only never attempted to ride a bicycle while drunk, written a song, or even read a biography of one of those countless inebriates who scratched a living or more by the pen, sword, or typewriter.

$1,000,000,000 in your province alone ? That's a serious attempt.

Mr. Beer N. Hockey said...

You ought to have a look at Dope City's drinking zone (the city calls it an entertainment district) on a Saturday night after 3:00 AM. Some countries have their young ones concentrate on the 3 Rs. We have them concentrate on the two Rs and a D - Readin', Writin' and Drinkin'.

mollymew said...

Rumour has it that the ancient Persians had a failsafe method for making decisions. The actual creative thinking would be done at all night, knock down, barf all over yourself booze fests. They made sure to write it down beacuse, once they slept it off, they'd go back and see if it was still a good idea in light of the hangover. It worked very well for about 200 years, and, minus "Alexander the Grape" who was famous for his own binges, we would probably all be speaking Farsi even today.