14 July 2008

Clockwork Orange


Last night the neighbourhood came to life. There was drinking on porches, laughter and music. It sounded like a campsite before everyone makes a last trip to the biffy with their flashlights and goes to bed. My dog even got in on the act, barking at a raccoon scuffling in the dark just the other side of the fence.

I told Sonja, we were watching Clockwork Orange on the television with all the windows of the house swung open to the Anarchy of the Canadian night, "When I write about Anne Murray I am really writing about you."

She looked at me the way she does when I have made it through the day without making a complete ass of myself and said, "Yeah...right."

Sonja knew I meant it though. I do not throw words like Anne Murray around willy-nilly. She got up and got me a beer even though she knew I needed it like we need a war in motherfucking Iran.

After Sonja set my Alhambra on the coffee table she sat down beside me, a little closer this time. My dog lifted her head from the floor, looking at us just long enough to make sure she thought she did not need some loving herself.

We looked at each other, like we have been doing a long time and Sonja said,"Drink your fucking beer and don't get any Anne Murray ideas Lucky. Back in your disgusting punk rocker days did you ever resemble any of the people in this movie?"

"Not really. I was way more wasted than these herberts. I had Beethoven for a soundtrack to my life, except Beethoven's name was Shithead. If anyone ever made a movie of my punk rock days it would be a lot like Sid and Nancy except with no Nancy and a lot more masturbating."

8 comments:

Jon said...

I remember doing a lot of waking up next to women whose faces I couldn't quite seem to place, often in places I didn't recognize. I do not consider those my sexual glory days. I'm not sure I was having sex very often anyway. I did masturbate pretty often, just to make sure the problem was taken care of.

Jon said...

PS, I think this was one of your best posts. Seriously.

Mr. Beer N. Hockey said...

Future bus drivers get all the women.

I have never tried to write like another but, if only subconsciously, a man cannot help being influenced by his much wider read fellows. Good thing, or else we would still be writing like back in the days they wrote the Bible. Looks like maybe reading a single Cormac McCarthy novel may have done me some good. Thank you America.

Jon said...

Ninety percent of creativity is concealing your sources.

Nicole said...

awwwwww you two love each other.
You like her...you love her...you want to kiss her......
Brings a tear to my eye....

and oh yeah before I forget...My Riders are 3 and 0-h...MY goodness....first in all the league!!!! :-)

Nicole said...

Ps... I also thought this was a really good post.

Hope your summer has been good...I have been having a really good summer, enjoying life and keeping out of trouble for the most part!

Almost time to go S'toon Berry picking...although truth be told I am a much better berry eater then I am a picker....

Give the Ham a pet for me, and do something sweet for your Missus.

Clockwork orange kind of freaked me out...I don't know if I even watched the whole thing...

Mr. Beer N. Hockey said...

There were a few ripe saskatoons on a bush near my Canada Day campsite. Just enough to remind me of the handfuls of them I ate by a lake last summer. The closest thing we have to saskatoons around here are blueberries. I do not even have to pick them myself, we have Mexicans pick them for us.

Your little green football team just may have become a Grey Cup machine.

Miss your sassy blogging.

Nicole said...

aw Beer!! It's nice to read that I'm missed!
"wait around..I'll smile again"

yes...Grey Cup 08...Repeat would be sweet!

oh...when we played your Lions two weeks ago...I made some orange shooters..told everyone they were the blood of a Lions fan...haha.
Peach jello and Sour Puss has a new flavour...mango sour puss....these were the best jello shooters I have ever had!!!
Everyone said "screw the little shooters and next time make us each a BOWL!"