12 April 2008

81" Laces


What with the big roller derby show on the horizon and all, it has been hard to sit down and watch play-off hockey, drink beer, get drunk and act like an asshole. What is worse is the slow death of the Canucks' season meant I could not place a single bet with anyone who thought they had the slightest chance of winning the Stanley Cup. Even the dope weariest truest of true believers could see the team looked and smelled like shit since last fall.

Just about everyone I know has jumped on the Frog bandwagon. I guess Montreal is the closest thing we have to a good Canadian hockey team this year. Have not heard much from the Frog fans lately. The motherfuckers can piss off far as I am concerned.

I figure the Penguins are going all the way. The team has a lot of class, just like their owner. But you know who looks sharp right now; you know who looks like the now team? The New York Rangers. Their goaler led the league in shutouts and the team has shown the ability to get hot and you have to be Hotter Than Hell to win the Cup. And they do not have too many French fuckers on the team.

Tonight I am pounding Fuller's organic honey ale and Red Breast Irish whisky as a warm up for tomorrow's roller derby festivities. Henrik flew down from 69 Mile House soon as I told him about the roller derby girls and their 81" laces. Hunky said, "Count me in too," after he checked out the Dope City roller derby scene in his computer.

See you at Kerrisdale's concrete oval beach motherfuckers.

5 comments:

Your driver said...

I'll be there in spirit. I've been waiting for you to say something about hockey. I kind of got the picture, but I live in California. What do I know?

Mr. Beer N. Hockey said...

The Ducks are ok but everybody knows California has not had a team worth supporting since the Seals got clubbed. That was a hockey team that had character. Just the same, I would be real surprised if the Sharks do not make the final four.

Your driver said...

They still talk about the Seals here, but nobody outside of San Jose cares about the Sharks. In SJ they support them, but only to prove that they are a real city, like Oakland and SF, not a third rate accidental population bubble that will collapse with the next wave of technology. I just spent the evening with an old friend, a really serious hockey player. He trains year around for the season and lives for the game, but he almost never talks about it, because he knows that no one around here knows anything about hockey. It's one of those things from long about and far away, like jellied moose nose. For your sake, and his, I would watch the Stanley Cup, but I don't have a TV, so I don't know anything about anything.

Mr. Beer N. Hockey said...

When the Seals were one of the ugliest NHL teams in history, besides the Canucks, I can remember Gary Smith, one fuck of a goaler, stick handling the puck past the centre line to dump the puck in the opposition's end because no one else on his team could manage it. That's character.

No one down there talks hockey because so few no shit about the game. I do not get to carried away about writing about hockey because we talk hockey here like your town talks 49'rs.

Your driver said...

Yeah, the 49ers. Link below is to the blog of Dr. Michael Homan. He's the old punk/bible scholar guy I referenced. Included here because the post is about the funeral of his friend, Dr. Ashley Morris. Doc. Morris' wife is a Roller Girl and she and her teammates turned out in skates and uniforms for the funeral. What fuckin' class.

http://michaelhoman.blogspot.com/2008/04/roller-girl-funeral.html

By the way Mr. Beer, I'm considering restarting my old blog under a new name and at new location. Provisional blogname is "Poetry Is For Assholes: A Journal of the Arts" I'd like to use some of your stuff. Interested?

Guys' wife came to his funeral in her Roller Girl outfit. Everybody's life is too short. I'm jealous.