Last night the Hockeys gathered at one of Dope City's many casinos to celebrate the engagement of Kitty's oldest girl to her long time boyfriend. We met in the pub where we could watch the sad Canucks battle the even sadder Blues.
We got our first round of drinks and ordered another round and our dinner just as soon as our waitress set them all on the table but the second round never arrived. We asked about our lost drinks and dinners but our table remained dry for over an hour. Pretty soon most of us were smoking dope outside. At least the dope is reliable in this town.
Eventually a manager, having been informed of our wait, made his way to our surly table of bloodshot-eyed motherfuckers . "I'm so sorry," he apologized. "A computer problem deleted your orders. Everything you have tonight will be on the house."
All us Hockeys looked at each other like we had died and gone to some place way better than Heaven. Kitty asked the manager, "Even the booze?"
The manager concurred. "Everything, even the booze, is on the house. I'm so sorry."
Casinos make so much money they did not even bat an eye as we dug into their bar. Kitty's husband Hunky Z got so pissed he kissed me right on the lips. Between the booze, the dope and the Canucks winning, he was right out of it. My mom was drinking the house red right out of one litre carafes. Her man Reggie remembered how much he liked scotch. And on and on it went until we all blacked out and drove home. It was like fucking Christmas.
I went to sleep with a bucket by the bed. I felt so good.
That was the cheapest, drunkest, most fucked up engagement party ever. It will not be long before Dope City changes its name to Van Casino.
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