2000-1

As usual I have gotten away with driving around drunk this Christmas. I would not have fallen out of my car if I was pulled over by the police or anything, that would be embarrassing. I may have had a little trouble getting out of the car if I had been pulled over after the union Christmas party.

I remember seeing an old buddy of mine fall out of his car drunk when he was pulled over by a cop with a tv cameraman riding with him. Pissed himself and everything right on tv. Drank himself to death a few years later. Those kind of tv shows can fuck off and die if you ask me.

Sonja and I did go through one roadblock after I had downed a few too many this year. Luckily, the cops were so busy towing drunk motherfuckers' cars away they waved us through without even asking me to roll down my window. As long as the odds of being caught drinking and driving remain at about 2000-1 gamblers like me will continue to do what we do best. And if we gamble and lose our lawyers will sort it out. If you have the option of staying home this time of year, or any other time, come to think about it, stay fucking home. The police are not going to save your ass when someone comes around a corner in the wrong lane heading straight for you.

The only bad driving I have seen all season was some asshole zigging and zagging through traffic faster than I was in a stolen old Chevy 4x4. Of course there was not a cop around anywhere.

The beer has been good to me tonight; time to hit the fucking scotch. Happy Motherfucking New Year.