3 July 2007

Karen Lee Batten Is Satan

We got home from the bushes of Canada just a little too early last night. As the Hammer circled the neighbourhood park she stopped, perked up her ears and howled at our moon from way down in her camping wiener filled belly. When she stopped her singing I listened to the dimming evening and picked up what it was that attracted her canine attention. It was Karen Lee Batten. Karen Lee was singing at the Canada day wing-ding at the stadium a few miles from my place.

Karen Lee Batten made the top ten of Canadian Idol a few years ago and now we are stuck with the tuneless tramp until someone else from Steepleton is recognized as having just enough talent to please the ears of my church choir loving community but not enough talent to get the fuck out of town. There are lots people with more talent than Karen Lee Batten in town but none of them can make it past the motherfucking censors that run community events hereabouts.

After the Hammer had passed her camp dinners onto the park grass she stopped and howled once more. My poor dog, like me, has been traumatised by the cancerous fallout of Canadian Idol.

Karen Lee's ubiquity has me more than a little concerned about the quality of acts likely to be booked into our new hockey arena when it is finished next year. Rumour has it the facility is going to be called the Holy Motherfucking Trinity Arena.

When I got back from the park I fixed myself a big glass of Dalmore and stuck the Drive-By Truckers' 40 Watt dvd into the player. I guess I should have put on an Ian Tyson record or something since it was still Canada Day. I think Sonja was tired of Canadian music after listening to Anne Murray cds on the highway home. And after all, just about all us Canadians are southerners.


Anonymous said...

I think you've just made a total fool of yourself, made yourself to look like a total ass who has no idea what real music is and where it comes from- the heart. Karen Lee has a ton of heart and she is a very gifted singer, with passion that shines through her eyes and flows into her songs. Its too bad you can't see that. The title of this blog is outrightly atrocious. Shame on you.

Anonymous said...

PS- You have probably gotten many comments similar to this one and that's why you moderate your comments, so you can delete them. I can't believe you take the time to sit in your own misery like this. You should really consider getting off your ass and having a life of your own, choosing to make it into what you enjoy, instead of trying to make your life of making other people sad. One more thing- it takes more energy to be angry and unforgiving than it is to just let it go...

Mr. Beer N. Hockey said...

I'd stand in my own misery but after a few beers sitting is a much safer option.