17 June 2007

69 Mile House News Flash


Not a whole lot of news gets made in 69 Mile House but what news there is is usually good. Here is the latest:

Seems a party of American fishermen were observed breaking every fishing regulation we Canadians have ever dreamt up except for the ban on throwing dynamite into the water to bring fish to the surface. The people making the observation probably would have let it slide, rules being made to be smashed and all, but these were American fishermen after all. The very same motherfuckers spreading liberty, democracy and death from above to a world hungry and drooling for same.

The fish and wildlife arm of our sleepy government had its attention brought to the lake rapers. Upon inspection 20 Americans were charged with breaking every regulation in the book. That's right, even the intention to use dynamite to catch fish after no one in a 40 foot RV could dream up a good excuse to explain why they had two sticks of explosives in their tackle box. Most of the unruly crew had not even bothered to buy fishing licenses.

The game warden blew several fuses on these guys as he added up the offences he observed through his binoculars and vehicle searches. While appearing sheepish as a politician caught driving around Hawaii pissed to the gills, deep inside this poor excuse of an American gang were, just minutes before the warden's investigation, probably thinking, "Fuck the Canadians, we can do whatever the fuck we want," as they circled the lake in the boat they probably stole off someone accused of cutting in on their drug running activity.

And you can probably guess the profession of the fishermen charged with treating our fish so unfairly. That's right, they were police.

2 comments:

jen said...

We are Americans. We can do whatever the fuck we want. Just ask the Iraqis/Afganis/Russians/Cubans/Syrians/Iranians...

need I continue? dynamiting fish is the least of it. speaking of, any cheap houses for rent up there?

Mr. Beer N. Hockey said...

Cheap houses for rent in Dope City? That's a good one.