7 January 2007

Sunny Day

When we went for our walk today I could not let the Hammer take her big, smelly crap in the middle of the local park because it was sunny and there were too many kids milling about. The Hammer likes to crap in the local park best, it is a big green garbage strewn toilet to her.

Sometimes when she cannot go in the park she does not go until we are away from the wide open green space Canada is noted for. The Hammer does not like shitting in the city. That can get uncomfortable when your shit is so big it causes small tremors in Japan when it lands on the Earth. All my dogs have been like that. They like to shit on the grass, not a dirt path and certainly not the sidewalk. My first dog, Strangler, preferred to crap at the very edge of fields. She was discrete, which was nice because she shat four times every time I walked her. I also trained her to shit on the grass in front of churches. Fucking churches get a free ride from the government for blurring people's sense of reality - it is the biggest scam going. The Strangler topped up their free ride with free dog shit.

The last few times the Hammer has been unable to use our local park she has made sure to crap somewhere else before we walk into the city. She crapped in the middle of an abandoned homeless people's camp today. She probably thought it was the least she could do given the amount of their shit she has eaten near their camps. A happy dog is a tired dog with lots of time before they need to shit next.

I am usually at my most philosophical when the year is young. As George Bernard Shaw put it, "In this world if you do not say a thing in an irritating way you may just as well not say it all, because people will not trouble themselves about anything that does not trouble them."

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