7 November 2006

Smoked Green Gopher Meat

I can live without the rain - Richard Parfitt

Before I left home this morning I kissed Sonja and the Hammer good bye like usual. Outside the rain hammered the windows like John Coghlan. Sonja said to me, "Why don't you stay home and drink with me Beer? I have the day off. Fuck work. Fuck 'em all. Stay home and drink away the rain with me."

It was tempting. Everyone who thinks working is a good way to spend a day should spend a day with Saddam Hussein, his execution day.

I drove into the mill very early this morning because Dope City was in the middle of its annual November Rain Festival. The big black Cadillac with the whips, furs and ice cold Singha in the back was nearly swallowed by several lakes which had encroached upon our sad highway system.

Near the mill I had breakfast at Ma Kelly's Greasy Spoon. I had eggs sunny side up, Afghan hash browns, juice and black coffee. When I was finished I paid for a cup of coffee to go and sat in my car drinking it and watching wave after splashy wave of hating to go to work humanity drive past me on the road near the mill. I tipped a dribble of flask rye into the cup of coffee to reward myself for hitting the road sensibly well ahead of the people I watched nearly losing control of their vehicles as they veered from one gigantic puddle to the next.

The only good thing to happen in Canadian November is the Grey Cup unless you get your kicks from watching the wheels fall off the Canucks' Old Blue Bus. All this dampness is making my balls itchier than Belinda Stronach's love bucket.

This weekend the Western and Eastern finals of the Canadian Football League will remind Canadians once again of how much better we are at making beer and creating top notch football than the war happy motherfucking oil sucking dope hating cop worshipping death penalty loving good friends of ours in the less attractive portions of North America.

The Dope City Lions are going to smoke The Green Gopher's dick in the Western Final. Bank on it.

There must have been twenty guys missing from the mill this morning. The rain is a killer.


Dirk_Star said...

I like it! Groovy site.


Nicole said...

The Dope City Lions are going to smoke The Green Gopher's dick in the Western Final. Bank on it.

Ohhh hoooo ho!

And to boot, you called me a NINNY at my place!!! :)

more like suck Green gopher dick....

Nicole said...

oh yeah...I will be picking the girlie drink...and it will be something frothy and green...

depending on my mood...we'll talk about rye chasers!!!

Mr. Beer N. Hockey said...

I may be old and drunk but I am more full of spunk than the Green Gopher.