30 November 2006

Frozen Streets of Steepleton

I have had the Cadillac out on the frozen streets of Steepleton a few times since the snow cleaned up our homeless problem by burying the inconvenient fuckers under two feet of ice. With a good set of snowies and lots of beer in the trunk and in my belly I got around without too much difficulty. Unless some of the bumps I hit were not clumps of ice.

My ears still ring with the sound of other people's cars spinning their wheels like Michael Richard's public relations help. Drivers ran red lights one after another. Sonja, who ought to have gone into a career in traffic enforcement, elbowed me like Gordie Howe from the passenger seat as a stream of red light runners rolled by in front of us. "Honk your horn! Finger them! Fucking idiots! What the fuck are they doing?" I told her, "Calm down lady. If I had my guns I would shoot them all for you." When it gets snowy around Dope City you have to take a handful of pills and go with the flow.

The mayor has been taking a lot of heat about the roads not being good enough to drive on with bald, low profile tires. The city hall excuse machine has been in high gear. My city has never had close to adequate snow removal gear. The animal sacrificing Christians who have run this town like a school bake sale for years figure God will provide rain sooner or later. But the voters have finally got the mayor's ass going. I saw a couple farm tractors with plows bolted where the bucket usually would be out cleaning up what they could before the next little storm hits us tonight.

And do not forget a re-broadcast of Anne Murray's blockbuster 2005 tv special, The Music of My Life, is set for the CBC at 9:00 December 7. The highlight has to be the duet with kd lang. When I told Sonja about the show she asked me, "You aren't going get dressed up in my clothes and drink a two-four of Moosehead again this year are you Beer?" It is a Christmas tradition. I am, after all, a lumberjack. And I'm ok.

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