7 October 2006

Beer, Afghanistan and Mr. Dress-Up

The pub was busy as a Dope City gun dealer this afternoon. The long summer weekends, when lots of working folk like me were giving each other the finger as we sped out of our over-priced town, have given way to winter weekends where we fight one another for a good seat to watch the Canucks in the bar on Friday afternoon.

Between the first two periods of the game we were talking about Canada's war with Afghanistan when for some reason the subject of religion came up. I chimed in with my opinion that the world would be a much more peaceful place if everybody jammed their Holy Books up their ass and left them there. Bernie, one of the new guys at the mill who joined the sawdusty crowd to cheer on the Sedins asked me, "How long have you thought religion is shit? Most of the people in my church are in favour of the war and they seem pretty normal."

I told Bernie, "Religion has been a thorn in my side since I was about six years old when I used to watch people take in the Sunday service when it was conducted in motherfucking Latin. I remember thinking how fucked everybody was going along with such obvious flim-flam they could not understand a word of. To me Mr. Dress-Up made more sense than any religion. And Mr. Dress-Up never started a fucking war."

Bernie asked me, "Who the fuck is Mr. Dress-Up?"

I told him, "Mr. Dress-Up formed the NDP with the unions back in the early '60s."

Bernie nodded his head knowingly, "Oh, that Mr. Dress-Up. I saw a documentary about him on the Vision network."

I waved down my favourite waitress. She could tell by the look on my face it was time for Beer to hit the high test.


j.p. patches said...

Beer...Ya gotta know that any time a christian is sittin in a BAR ,that even He's not sure where he stands on Religion ,War or any other moral issues.Thank GOD for Sud's ,Dope ,and Little kids' entertainers to get us through the tuff times.I'm thinking even Uncle Ernie Dressup had a few before he jumped in front of the cameras.His brother Anne did!

Mr. Beer N. Hockey said...

Mr. Dress-up, J.P Patches and a Christian were sitting at a bar. J. P. emptied his glass of Esmerelda ale, looked over at the Christian and said to Mr. Dress-up, "Look at the fucking clown at the far end of the bar."

Most of the Christians I talk to are loading up on beer in the bar. Believe me: they are very fucking sure of where they stand on moral issues when they are swacked.