13 May 2006

New Coach of the Vancouver Millionaires

I wonder what it is that makes beer go so damn good with writing? Whisky and wine are ok for writing too but I find the limited coordination it takes for two fingers to poke away at a keyboard gets lost too fast with anything other than beer. I'm not saying beer makes you write good; I'm just saying they go good together.

I used to do all my writing after filling my lungs with good B.C. Dope. When I am at the keyboard I still get a nostalgiac urge to light up but it passes with each passing beer. If you think my writing is fucked up now you should see my doper writing.

Friday beers are the best in the world. If I drink enough of them tonight I might figure out what the fuck happened to New Jersey and Colorado in the hockey play-offs. The first round is always the round with the most profound upsets but usually the victorious underdog carries some of their surprize momentum into the next round.

If anybody who reads this is better connected to the Canucks than me would you tell them I would love to coach their lowly hockey team to the Stanley Cup but only if the owners agree to change the name of the team to the Millionaires. If you notice next year's coach is not drinking beer behind the bench and calling the referees motherfucking animal sacrificers it is because of the stupid Canuck name and that dumb motherfucking dolphin on their jersey.

(I was just interrupted by a leg humping dog wanting me to switch my internet providers. I told them I would think about it if they would throw in 24 ice cold beers. They in turn are thinking about it.)

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