27 May 2006
On the highway today I spotted a mother duck and her basketful of ducklings waddling around the fast lane like East End dopers during Mardi Gras. I pulled over onto the shoulder of the slow lane, put on my emergency flashers and expected to see someone in the fast lane squash the little slug eaters. But the car in the fast lane had a soft spot for ducks like me and braked to stop. Next the person in the slow lane braked to a stop by me. As traffic grinded to a standstill behind us do-good motherfuckers I jumped out of my car and shoo'd mother duck and her wee babies back into the ditch. One of the ducklings tripped over himself in his hurry to escape but righted himself and soon disappeared into the long spring grass.
I dig my fork into my Animal Sacrificing Christian neighbours once in a while so it is only fair that I thank my neighbours for their kindness today.
A human safety barrier has been set up where the ducks' progress was stopped. Ducks had been crossing that stretch of road for centuries. Thus are animals sacrificed for humans.
If I have a karmic payback coming I hope it shows up at the racetrack tomorrow.