2 May 2006

Labour Day Phone In

I celebrated Labour Day today the same way I have for quite some time - I phoned in sick. One of these days I figure the Company is going to hire a junior human resources parasite motherfucker who is going to go over the employee files with his replica Hitler's fine tooth comb and yell. "AH HAH!!! That motherfucking Beer has been phoning in sick every May 1st for years and years. He must be some kind of a fucking Commie. I'll grind his red balls to dust when I get him on the carpet."

What I will get is a serious talking to, during which I will find a way to bring up that I am an avid hunter and gun collector, and then a letter marking my dubious accomplishment. That's if they ever figure it out.

Instead of working the Hammer and I put some miles on our grubby paws. The Hammer got her first close look at some cows today. They were as interested in her as she was with them. The cows ran along on their side of the dyke following us. Their horse buddy joined in the stampede. Cows are surprizingly agile for a pile of steaks. I have to keep the Hammer away from the livestock, though she has paid a close visit to that farmer's horse in the past, because farmers are allowed to shoot dogs if they judge them to be harassing their stock. And some of them are dog killing enthusiasts.

The farmer has recently turned over a field in preparation for it being planted with corn. The corn will taste real good, all buttered and peppery, with a steak from one of his sprinting cows on the side, when summer turns as lazy as I was today.

No comments: