10 May 2006

Blue Dick


I was just about to get into the tub when I called my mom.

"Mom my dinky has turned green!" I yelled.

In the kitchen my mom slugged back her wine, butted out her smoke and thanked God the rest of her kids were not as fucked up as me. She made her way to the bathroom and checked me over.

"It's not really green. It is more of a blue. You should be ok. If it was green I'd've had to take you to the hospital. You need to wash that thing Beer."

"But I do wash it mom."

"Maybe you have to wash it harder."

"Maybe I should use an SOS pad like you use on the frying pan in the kitchen sink?"

"That would probably be what it would take to clean up that thing."

I jumped into the tub and immediately started blowing fart bubbles and scrubbing my dick.

My mom returned to the kitchen, lit a smoke and poured a glass from the gallon jug dad put his homemade wine into. She looked at the SOS pads on the kitchen counter by the sink. Her coffee gang would get a laugh about how she passed one to me in the tub, "Just in case you can't get all the blue out."

"Ma!"

3 comments:

Hime Likmanure said...

I washed mine furiously too with always the same result.My folks always told us it would fall off though ,not turn blue.It hasn't fallen off yet ,but I can't see that far down anymore to tell if it has changed colour or not.

Mr. Beer N. Hockey said...
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
Mr. Beer N. Hockey said...

Just as I dreamed when I opened the Dope City Free Press, the Letters to the Editor section is becoming classy as fuck.