18 February 2006

Guns, Beer and Hockey

I have never been a hunting man myself. I feel bad enough putting a worm on a fish hook or whacking a trout to death in the bottom of my boat. I took out shooting permits a few times to try my hand at guns and found I could not hit the side of newly painted barn. I thought because my eyesight has always been sharp, my croaker says I should have been a jet pilot, I would be a trick shot. I am a bad shot. I shoot so bad I would fit right in on the Dope City Canucks' power play.

This I learned before the enraged women and their zealous supporters who were looking for an answer to that fuck-head back east killing a pile of women at a school decided a long gun registry would prevent any thing like that happening again. Because of the long gun registry there are more guns buried in Canada than there are people to shoot them.

Ever since the government wanted to know who everybody was who owns a rifle I have wanted a pile of them. I have always wanted what the government does not want me to have. If I wanted a pile of guns bad enough I could order up an arsenal big enough to over-equip a private army any old time. Dope City has more guns floating around than Baghdad. Soon I will be able to order up my arsenal of rifles legally. You have been warned. I will not be hard to spot when I am out in the wilderness hunting. I will be the guy with the Dick Cheney for President t-shirt on and a ball cap that says "Nobody is Ugly After Six Beers".


Todd Bertuzzi said...

Hey!...You forgot to say MOTHERFUCKER! Doh!...I'm never goin fishin' with you again if'n you got guns.I think your eyesight couldn't be improved after drinking the dreaded blue crap last time.CHEERS!

Mr. Beer N. Hockey said...

Trust Todd "I Did Not Mean To Break His Motherfucking Neck" Bertuuzi to take time out from his Olympian duties to write 2+2. As a matter of fact I am thinking of changing my name to The Blue Crap - that's what Bertuzzi translates to in English.

Anonymous said...

God I hate Todd Bertuzzi!