27 January 2006

Pills and Whisky

The RCMP had a speed trap set up not far from home as I braved my way back from the joys of making a living today. The Mountie had pulled over some asshole who was probably going about twice the posted limit. Everybody around here drives like I raced electric cars on the figure 8 racetrack I had when I was a kid. No wonder foreign countries warn their citizens about us crazy Canadian motherfuckers and our dangerous habits..

The corner by where the RCMP were handing out tickets faster than they sell 50/50 tickets at a hockey game was the same one I performed first aid on a guy a couple years back after he had been t-boned by a 4x4. The guy had been knocked out cold and was still out when I reached his buckled car. There was a bottle of cheap rye on the floor that miraculously had not broken. Lucky for me I was wearing a big pocketed coat to save the guy the embarrassment of being dead drunk.

After I had tucked away the bottle the guy came to and started blabbering. "No police. No phone. No insurance." He repeated this over and over. I guessed it was the only English the guy knew. So I asked him, before the police showed up and had their chance, if he had been drinking. "Only one beer." "No rye." "No police please sir." "I pay. I pay. I pay."

The guy was giving me a headache. Too bad some pills had not spilled in the collision with the whisky. We both could have used some.

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