8 December 2010

Ontarians


There are people from Ontario in our hotel. They look just like everybody else but it is easy to tell them apart from our fellow travelers. Sonja noticed the difference before I even mentioned it. After she silently observed a gaggle of Ontarians carrying on yesterday she elbowed me and said, "Those people are drinking more than us. Are we losing our touch?"

"Those people are from Ontario," I told her between drinks of my Sol. "We have never, will never, drink the way those motherfuckers can."

I have been careful not to mention the Leafs when speaking with the Ontarians. The Ontarians have been careful not to mention the Leafs to me. When the Leafs are playing they sneak out of the hotel to watch their team in sports bars, drink overpriced liquor and pinch the skinny Mexican waitress' bottoms.

One day the Leafs will ice a good team again. Until then the Ontarians have their booze.

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