10 January 2014

Mexican Dildo



Bela Lugosi
He did not know
What the hell
Was happening

- Mick Farren

I did not fully get over Lou Reed's death until my vacation in Mexico. Did not hear one Lou Reed song down there but I did find Lou's face staring at me through dark shades from the cover of Sabotage magazine. Got it framed and hung it on the office wall when I got home. Fucking cool the way he touched people on every continent of our weathery planet. Bet your ass even the scientists on Antarctica were talking about Reed after he died.

Mexicans know a thing or two about music. They know music and revolution are the Twin Peaks every man ought to climb while he still can. At least they used to know that shit. Nowadays the motherfuckers nearly all think the Twin Peaks are a neckful of ecstasy and a roomful of techno.

One night while I was down there I was drinking alone in the hotel bar before dinner. On the television that was not always silently broadcasting a soccer game a pop music video station played behind me. It was entertaining me with what seemed an endless puke stream of Mexican death disco. The same shit you would be hearing all over without the tender mercy of the headphones everybody under seventy wears now.

Much to my surprise the death disco puke stream from the tv behind me was interrupted by some rock 'n' roll causing me to turn and look to see if I could catch the artist's name performing it. Motherfucker by the name of Dildo. I kid you not. Dildo rocks!

Dildo was still rocking my world when my waitress, my big canned Mexican waitress, came by to see if I might like another one. I asked her, "You know who that is?" and pointed to the big screen.

"That's Dildo," she answered.

"Dildo?" I asked with a cock of my head.

"Si. Dildo."

Not quite Mick Farren and Deviants playing "Bela Lugosi" but once again my life was saved by rock 'n' roll.



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Anonymous said...

My first non-tourist-trap encounter in Mexico involved a Spanish-English interaction where the dishwasher said "Los Bee-At-Lays?" and I said "huh?" a few times.

Eventually I realized he was saying "The Beatles" in Spanish.

Things went a lot better after that, we went outside and smoked a fat one.

Music is a universal language motherfuckers.

- Jonku