6 February 2013

Coffee Pot News

When I got home from work it was waiting for me by the front door. My new coffee pot!

Inside the house I opened up the cardboard box it came in and tore away the bubble wrap that prevented it being broken between motherfucking China and my safe Steepleton home.

It gleamed on the countertop like Beyonce's Super Bowl eyes.

After I washed it out good with soap and water (because who knows how many Chinese people pissed off with Canadian Steelworkers like me for getting some of their people kicked out of OUR mines may have coated the pot with one of their many invisible poisons before they laughed their guts out so hard they puked shark fins when they shipped it to Canada) I filled it with filtered water, poured it in the coffee maker, added coffee to the basket and pressed the buttons necessary for me to have fresh coffee the next morning.

Sonja saw the coffeemaker was ready to go when she got home from work. "About fucking time! You have been such an asshole without your coffee. I'll bet your boss will think you smoked a joint before your shift tomorrow you will be so happy in the morning."

This morning the hot black speed was waiting for me when I awoke. Was not half way through the first cup when it triggered a big old beer shit. Half way through the second cup I had another. There would be no fucking the dog on the sawmill shitter like I have been doing every day for the month plus I have been without a cup of coffee within seconds of waking up.

The best thing about about not having a drug around the house is when you have the drug back in your life again.

Blue skies and green lights, motherfuckers.


motorcycleguy said...

need the address so I can order
the plastic filter holder I've been looking for..pot is still OK

istvan said...

coffee,a serious monkey,tobacco is the worst.And these are leagal!FTW mon.